A Trip to the Chiropractor

So I have a new friend. He's a chiropractor. I remember the good old days when I used to make friends at parties or playing sports. Now all my new friends have offices and medical supplies.

He was funny. The first medical professional I didn't so much mind going to see. He had a Riders garbage can in his office. His dad coached the Yorkton Terriers.

He said, have you ever been in a car accident?

I said, yes. A long time ago.

He said, did the car roll?

I said, yes.

He said, who was driving?

I said, me.

He said, was it your parents car?

I said, yes.

He said, was it a truck?

I said - look, I feel like I'm on trial here. No, it wasn't a truck. It was a car.

Then I sheepishly added - it was a brand new car.

He said - I'm writing that down...R-O-L-L-E-D--P-A-R-E-N-T-S--B-R-A-N-D--N-E-W--C-A-R.

He said - And now I'm going to underline BRAND NEW twice.


Wait...on second thought, he wasn't funny at all.

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It appears I have two vertebrae's giving me problems so he insisted that I see him all next week. Fine I said, but can I still play ball? He said, NO, but if I choose to then I am not allowed to complain about it. I said fine. I won't complain. (I probably will though).

Then he said, we are closed next friday so I can only see you until thursday.

I said that's fine cause I'm leaving wednesday so I can only see you till wednesday anyway.

He said, ok well I guess we'll just have to fix you in three days then.

I said, Yes make sure cause I have to golf thursday and then waterski at the cabin and my ball finals are next monday.

He looked at me.

He finally said, you know, the worst things you can do are golf, bat and waterski because with these things your head is tilted forward and the spinal compression and then with the swing, the rotation....blah, blah, blah....and he had his little toy spine out and was bending and twisting it up as he spoke to show me what happened to the little bones and nerves when my bat hit the ball. It wasn't pretty.

When he FINALLY stopped, I stared at the knarled toy spine in his hand for a minute, then looked him in the eye and said, So you're saying that I should make some appointments for the week after too then?


For all that, I got a smile, an eye-roll, and three full weeks worth of chiropractor appointments. It sure didn't take him long to realize that he may be funny and knowledgeable and perhaps even a little scary, but I will always be the stubborn middle child who is going to do it anyway.

The Old Oak Tree

I'm feeling a little sad today, you see there is this homeless man that asks for change and he stands on the corner across from my work. Since we moved to this office he's been there. In the same way the a 400 year old oak tree is always in the same spot when you walk by, he is just a subconcious expectation. A comfort. A sign that I'm only thirty steps from my elevator. He always sat in the exact same spot, facing the exact same direction, holding the exact same hat, smelling the exact same smell, and smiling the exact same smile.

He's been gone for almost two weeks and I can't get it out of my mind. Every morning it upsets me a little, i wonder where he is or what has happened. It's funny how I never paid much attention to him - having both a personal policy on handing cash to the needy, and a fundamental lack of spare change - but I really did notice when he was gone. He wasn't a part of my life in the sense that he had a lot of affect on it, but over the last few months, he had quietly taken a subtle, yet constant role in my life as a comforting everyday occurance. And now, he's gone.

I wonder if one day he will return or if one day I will forget he was ever there.

Dangerous Driving

Yesterday I was driving down Deerfoot in the slush and the muck with my finger on the windshield washer button, thinking about when they would come out with a ‘Couch Potatoe’ game for the Wii – where you’d get points for sitting still as possible and slouching and eating potatoe chips and stuff – when I reached down to adjust my scarf and it hit me!!

No, not the meaning of life. The little metal thing on the end of the string from my hood!

The string was elastic and apparently I had gotten it caught between my two fingers as I adjusted my scarf, so when I put my hand down, the thing snapped back and hit me in the eyeball! So now I’m blind in one eye (which does nothing for depth perception by the way) and driving down deerfoot trail with a mud covered windshield. And I just thought, Wow, we should celebrate everything, after all - it’s a wonder we survive everyday. With the gang shootings, car accidents, plane crashes, and little metal things on our coats…life is dangerous. So to myself I’ve made the commitment to pat myself on the back every time I clear a hazard in life – every time I pass by a table and don’t stub my toe, every time I do up a zipper and don’t catch my throat in it’s teeth, every time I wave to someone and don’t knock myself out. After all, each of little wins lead to another wonderful day full of opportunities!